I keep telling myself, ‘there is a better time to write (instead of now)’. That has been anything but helpful. Being transparent with myself is turning out to be more tenuous than ever. On second thought, being honest feels like the freedom from what has been a tenuous time built like a mountain of lies. Oh, such clever lies! But, no. I have decided to not be rude to myself or be sarcastic. Building a habit of daily activities for self-affirmation could help. Also, I need help. I don’t know if it is depression, but I feel like I am in a depression for sure. And I would like to get out of it. Systemic support could not hurt. There is a voice inside me which keeps saying that I can do this by myself. But I will use all the help I can get. Since it feels like being in a depression.
Writing has been a very close friend, for as far as I can remember.